Homesick

                             Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Fast approaching is the 2yr anniversary of my mother's (meme) passing, October 24th. I often think about how I took her presence for granted. I remember on one occasion I asked her to stay with my brother for a few weeks so Phillip and I could have some alone time (she moved in with us 4 months after we married). She seemed upset by this, as though I was asking her to leave forever. My reply "Meme, you are 73 yrs old...you'll be around until your ninety something". A week later she went to stay with my brother for 2 weeks. It was just a couple months later that she passed away. The lesson I learned from this was to never take anyone you love for granted. I think about that day often and can't help but to wonder if she felt rejected or unloved. I would give anything to take that moment back. Now, the person that I thought would live forever only lives in my heart. She was my best friend. Some women can't understand how one's mother could be their best friend, I do. She is the reason I am who I am today. I couldn't ask for better. As far back as I can possibly remember I only spent a total of 4 weeks away from her my entire life until her passing. I miss her more than I have ever missed anyone or anything.

Tell the people you love....that you do love them, that you appreciate them, and what a difference they have made in your life. A day will come when you will no longer be able to tell them. That will weigh heavily on your mind. Though my mother and I were very close, and told each other EVERYDAY "I love you", I still wonder if she knew just how much I did love her.

I often feel her presence near me. I know that she is near and watches over us. But its just not the same as walking into a room and seeing her sitting in her green recliner while I tell her all about my day....good news and bad news.

You have never felt loneliness until you know that you can never go home again.

Below are the lyrics to "Homesick" by Mercy Me.

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times

And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you

But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry

Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways

The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know

But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same

Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you againTo see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now